L'Ultima Notte

Ok, it's not really "L'Ultima Notte*"... that was a song by Josh Groban I was singing earlier, and I didn't have a good enough title for my first "official" blog... so thats what I used.

It's 12:37 am. I should really be in bed. But I've had so much music going through my head. Songs that were performed tonight in PTC, and songs that I haven't heard in a really long time. Ha, you might think its ok to fall asleep with music playing inside your head. But for me, it's different than it might be for you. When I hear music going through my head, I first identify who's singing, (or who is playing if its without lyrics) what style of music, and what instruments are in the rythymn and flow of it all. Mom told me that when i was really young, I would cry during movies when the music happened to be really intense, or sad. Or laugh and smile when the music was bubbly and cheerful. When I was a baby, I mean! It really fascinates me that a baby, can have the ability to hear emotion. Its beautiful...

I think about really random things a lot.

So... when something is going through my head when I'm trying to sleep, I can also feel myself desperately wanting to walk over to the piano and figure the melody out, so I can hear it aloud. Mind you, it takes me a little while to actually be in the right key and everything, but it makes me happy when I walk over casually to the piano at the church sometimes, and play something and I hear someone say "Hey, thats Pride and Prejudice!" or "Hey, thats Robin Hood!"
I feel a small accomplishment.

I really want to learn to play the piano better. I guess it really takes a lot of work. I loved when Sis. Bunker taught me, and hour once a week for a few months again, I improved so much (or so I was told) in the few short months she was here. It's not like Im aspiring to be a concert pianst, or anything. But I really, want... to write music. I think i have this mind block that I'm not educated enough in music to write something. I also have amazing friends who can compose like it's nothing. Really, they are incredible.

I'm going to have to be more dedicated to it, I really feel that if I become dedicated to music, I can become more dedicated to a lot of other important things in my life. Life is really crazy right now, with so many transitions and mom and dad being gone so much. Mom helping Great Grandpa, Dad being the Bishop. I miss them both a lot. And I'm not getting any younger, I'm in 10th grade, I have some work to do before I graduate, you bet! Education is the most important thing I believe, for me right now. I think if I focus on that than I will feel better about myself. I pray that I will be able to do all that I can now, to be the person I am supposed to be in the future.

*"L'Ultima Notte" means "The Last Night" in Italian, if you were wondering. :)