New Post Coming Soon!

Hey... It's been busy. I will post very soon. Ciao!

Jess

Everything's Just Fine

I realize that I need to be more consistent and diligent with this blog. I've had in since October, and have put what, 5 entries? Maybe more. I'm not quite sure. I always feel inspired to write listening to certain types of music. Right now, I'm listening to Elijah Bossenbroek, the brilliant pianst, go figure! His music is always so... almost other-wordly to me. It's just...very calming, and almost gives you this feeling that you can do anything, be anybody. I absolutely love it. I hope to achieve the ability to compose music at some point in my life. I know it's going to have to take a lot of studying. I was watching some old YouTube videos of The 5 Browns yesterday, and was just amazed by the work they must have all put in into their study of music. All of them in Juliard, it's crazy.

Okay, so yesterday we were having a lesson in Young Women about "Homemaking". Preparing to be a wife and mother. I really thought about it for the first time in awhile, of the huge...responsibility that is. How sad it is that society takes it so lightly. Then we were discussing how we need to be family oriented, not career oriented. I'm just a little worried about my mindset. I want so much to go out there, and perform, and record music, and etc. How am I supposed to do that and be married with children at some point in my life? It just seems...so overwhelming. Which I suppose it should be for a 16 year old. To think, that girls my age and younger have kids. Not necessarily on purpose, but indeed they do. How can you trust yourself with such a responsibility? I realize how incredible my mother is, along with any woman who has children. That they are willing to give their wholeselves and life to raising a spirit child of Heavenly Father. It's extremely hard for me to fathom. I'm guessing there is a point in time to where it just "clicks". That you know you are ready. I just... am trying to understand where I'm supposed to draw the line. I want to be on stage, and I'm hoping I can do that for awhile. Unless I am meant to raise a family earlier on. I don't know...I just think alot about the future, which is definitely better than never thinking past Friday night! *sigh* I just need to continue pressing forward, and focus on education. Focus on being the best me that I can be, and live the standards, so one day I will be worthy to meet a man who I am to marry. That will happen... just not yet, haha.

For now, I know I need to breathe, and continue on.

"Live live to the fullest and always believe in yourself, no matter what the world may throw full-force at you. You are strong enough to conquer all."